Opinions

Have I ever mentioned how it is hard to be me sometimes?  I know that sounds strange, but truly it is.  You see I have something inside me that makes me VERY opinionated.  I don't want to be.  Phrases that go through my head constantly are: "Why do you care?  Ang, let it go.  This affects you none."  Many times my filter gets turned off and I open my mouth and let out my opinions to anyone standing around.  But, I can tell you that as many times as I have said inappropriate things, butted in on conversations, ranted on about different situations, there are a million more times I have shone restraint and bit my tongue.  Now, that I type the word "tongue" maybe THAT has something to do with my need to feel heard?  I mean my maiden name "Lingua" does mean tongue.  Maybe, it's my ancestors who are to blame, yup, I am going with that.

Lately, I have really been thinking what exactly is the difference between being opinionated and being judgemental.  I like to think of myself as "opinionated" but when it gets right down to it, I am usually just being judgmental, which is why I have really been trying to stop thinking and pondering about what others are doing and why.  Why do I care so much what others do with their time, money, and actions.  Those people certainly aren't calling me up to ask what they should do, and it doesn't affect me or my family, so why do I sit and stew about it?  It's not like I have nothing better to do.  I have no answer as to why my brain is filled with other people's lives and how they are living it.  I know I need to focus more on me and raising my kids to be good Christian young woman who are loving and nonjudgmental.  I also need to focus more on my own faults and poor decisions, there are MANY!

I guess all I can do is work on it, and pray about it that God clears my mind of unnecessary clutter.  I know I would be a lot more at peace. But, know if you are ever in need of someone to give you an honest opinion about a situation you are dealing with, I am your girl!

Solution

I do not claim to know anything about politics.  Actually, if you have a question about politics I should be the LAST person you ask.  However, I did watch the State of the Union, and I don't completely live under a rock and know that our country is in some major trouble as far as our debt is concerned.  I also know that here in Crawford County (and I know all over the country) we have tons of children's basic needs that are not being met.  We feel as teachers we are helpless in helping our kids out.  I have been into homes I wouldn't let my dog live in, and yet DFS (Dept. of Family Services) is so under staffed there is really not much that ever gets done when we make a call to them.  We have actually been told, "As long as the child has access to running water...."  No kidding.  So sad.  (I know I am kind of rambling, but bear with me, it will all tie together.)
Has anyone out there ever heard of Supplemental Security Income better known as SSI?  Well, it is a Federally funded program that is for disability for children who are under 18.  I can think of millions of reasons why this is am AWESOME program.  In my line of work I see all the time how there are extra expenses that come with having a child with a disability, and I think that even if your parents do not make much money the child should still be able to get the same therapies, equipment, doctors, etc. that "wealthy" disabled children receive.  BUT, my issue, as I am sure with any qualifying programs that deal with money, there are people that abuse it.  Here are the qualifications your child MUST meet to receive SSI aka-monthly check:

The child must not be working and earning more than $1,010 a month in 2012. (This earnings amount usually changes every year.) If he or she is working and earning that much money, we will find that your child is not disabled.

The child must have a physical or mental condition, or a combination of conditions, that results in “marked and severe functional limitations.” This means that the condition(s) must very seriously limit your child’s activities.

The child’s condition(s) must have been disabling, or be expected to be disabling, for at least 12 months; or must be expected to result in death.

We get application weekly for students in our school because their parents are applying for this money.  Did you know that if you have ADHD (which by the way if you know the right doctor you can get that diagnosis in a matter of minutes) you can apply!  WHAT THE FREAKIN CRAP?!?!?!?!?  Can you say RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!  It makes me sick!  Day in and day out I see parents wanting me to test their child for special education and praying that I say there is something wrong with their child so they can increase their income while they sit at home and do NOTHING!!!  What is wrong with the world?  By the way, ADHD does NOT result in a "marked and severe functional limitation."
So, here is how we fix it.....I will now be the person in charge of deciding if the child's disability is severe or not, and when I make my decision there will be NO appeals!  Then the money that we (the Nation) SAVES, we will hire more DFS workers and get these children out of these horrible, horrible homes.  Really it's a win-win for EVERYONE.  It's a shame I am a nobody and no ever asks ME what they should do.

friendship

I am not one of those people that makes friends easily.  I actually hate meeting new people.  "Meet and Greet" time during church makes me uncomfortable EVERY single Sunday.  I hate the awkward time of standing with people not knowing what to say.  When I do meet new people it takes me a LONG time to feel comfortable.  I will not be the one that makes outsiders feel welcome into my circle.  Not because I don't want them to join in the fun, I just have no idea what to say, and I hate that feeling.  I am the person that has few friends.  Some people (the ones who can talk to anyone) find that odd, and I think sometimes feel sorry for me.  But, I am totally cool with it.  The friends I do have I can completely be myself with, no guard up.  I can open up about life with.  I can share in their life.  I can mess up and know they will still be there for me, and vice versa.  To each his own, but for me, I would take one close friend over a room full of acquaintances ANY DAY. 
I also believe that God puts different people in your life at different times, EXACTLY when you need them.  When you are in the middle of life's journey, you may not realize how much you need certain people, but when you look back over time it is easy to see.  God's timing is the perfect timing,and though you may not understand it in the moment, looking back I am sure I will understand. 

Dieting SUCKS

Can I get an AMEN here?  Seriously!  It is so hard for me!  Jon and I are both trying to lose weight; yes to be healthy, yes, so we are around for our kids for a long time, blah, blah, blah, but my REAL motivation is DISNEY WORLD in July.  We are going on a family vacation to Disney World just the four of us in July, and knowing my husband, I don't know that we will ever go back (not his thing), so I plan to take a butt load of pictures and I DO NOT want to be the FAT kid in all the pictures!  Seriously, when I look back at this vacation through pictures I want to focus on the fun we had NOT, OOH bad angle, or never showing THAT picture to anyone....etc.  So, back to my post....Dieting SUCKS!!!  I don't mind the workouts, sure everything jiggles, and I have been constantly sore for two weeks, but the eating is what is so hard for me.  I have been doing fine till last night.  Last night we had dinner with our D48 (Dinner for eight) group from church, and my calorie count was UGLY.  I had a little mac and cheese, green beans, a little chicken and dumplings, and then two huge pieces of homemade pizza each with about two inches of cheese on top, oh and I didn't stop, I had dessert too, some pudding goodness thing and a cookie.  NO ONE would have guessed I was holding back, but I totally was.  I really wanted a couple more cookies.  I am a HUGE fan of the Biggest Loser and I watch how when they eat so much during temptations and then they are all "Oh I feel sick." and "It didn't even taste good."  BULL CRAP!!  They are totally trying to say the right thing.  Any fat person who loves food will always love the taste of it.  Never will a pizza, chocolate ice cream, anything with cream cheese EVER taste bad to me, no matter how long I have gone without it. 
So, today I am trying to do damage control from what I did last night.  Knowing that I still have no will power over good food.

Free Will

Everyday I am in awe of what God does for us.  But, one thing I truly cannot comprehend is Free Will.  I mean seriously we are human and we make some REALLY stupid decisions.  If I were God, and you are so happy right now that I am NOT, I would totally take that away and become a Dictator.  Actually, I talk about this all the time, I wish that someone would give me that power right now.  That way I would stop people before that make stupid decisions.  Two main things I would take care of first is having babies, and how to spend money.  I would line people up, give them two minutes to explain their situation, and then I would say YES, you can have a baby, or Heck NO, you may NEVER have a baby and there is the line to get you FIXED.  And the same with how people spend money.  Here are some examples......

If you already have two babies, by two different babydaddys, and you are currently with a new man....NO more babies, and there is the line to get yourself fixed.  If you already have two babies and you are on welfare, and have no plans to ever get a job...NO more babies for you!!  If you are a crack-whore.....NO babies!  If you live with your parents (Aunt, Grandma, relative, etc.).....NO babies.  If you cannot take care of the current babies you have....NO baby!  Seriously, people are SOOO stupid and the ones that suffer are not only the precious babies, but also tax payers and school districts.  No one benefits except the birth mom who increase her government check.  UGH!!

Now with money, it's no different, people are still incredibly stupid with their money.  I am not talking the stupid money mistakes we ALL make.  I am talking BIG mistakes.  If your income comes from welfare/disability or some other government handout I would NEVER let you spend money on the following: gaming systems, drugs, I phones, I pods, data plans for cell phones, souped up car parts, etc.  Also, the tax return you get back in January, that should be spent on clothes for your kids, bills, food, not unnecessary items!  If you get a backpack full of food from your child's school on Fridays, you should NOT have ANY pets at home.  If the community has to provide YOU with food how are you providing food for your pets?  STUPID! People of all classes make stupid decisions with their money.  The amount of money people spend on clothing for their kids' name brand stuff--stupid. Cell phone monthly bills for some people are outrageous. Living paycheck to paycheck but charging a vacation....STUPID!  Making sure what you have is equal to or better than "The Jones'"--Insane, I NEED control of you finances, after I smack you in the face!  I am not even going to go into what the super wealthy do with their money....OK, just one thing, I read this week Tiger Wood's ex-wife tore down her 12 million dollar home so she could build one that better suits her, are you FREAKING kidding me?  Unbelievable!!! 

So, this week when you are getting ready to make a decision about having another baby or how to spend you money, please think, "What would Angie's answer be?"  And then thank God that I am not a dictator, and that HE trusts you to make your own decisions--FREE WILL.

Something different

So, I haven't blogged in over a year.  I HAVE actually thought about different posts in my head, but never actually got them onto the computer.  I have been thinking about using my blog more for my therapy instead of updates on the family.  Not to say I will never have an update here or there, but I have decided to have no rules.  If I am happy I am going to blog about it, if I am sad, blog about it, and then the most therapeutic for me is, if I am pissed I am going to blog about it.  You see, I tend to have pretty strong opinions about every person, or situation I find myself in or around, and sometimes, shockingly, people don't really care what my opinions are.  So, I figured on my blog, you can read it, or not, I don't really care, but I will feel better by getting my feelings/thoughts out there.  So, I am going to try it.  Don't know how often I will post, but like I said, I have set no rules for myself.  Also, there will probably be zero to no pictures on this  blog, uploading pictures using HUGHES NET is re-dick-u-lous!!!

The "M" word

So, this story did not happen to me or my kids, it didn't even happen at my school, but I think it is so funny, so I thought I would share....

Picture it....4th grade class working on long division.  The kids are really having to concentrate and think.  One little boy is so stressed out that he closes his eyes, and puts his middle finger and thumbs together and breathes deeply.  The teachers looks at him and says, "Tommy, what exactly are you doing?"  Billy seeing all this happening answers for Tommy, "Mrs. Smith, he is MASTURBATING!!"  Without missing a beat, Mrs. Smith says, "Do you mean meditating?" 

I would have died if that happened in one of my classes!!!